Its been a busy month, and also a stressful month. I've had so much coursework to do, and just before the half-term holiday I completed a twenty-page Shakespeare essay, only to be told today that it's not right! I'm probably going to find myself redoing it, ontop of revising for my Maths GCSE, learning a German essay by heart, revisin for my final Chemistry GCSE, learning two scripts for my drama As assessment, writing 6 essays on Prohibition for my History coursework, and an English Language essay for coursework. And all of this is due in less than a month. I really feel like I'm going to have a breakdown. When my English Literature teacher told me it was no good, I really just felt like bursting into tears. My self-restraint saved me a lot of embarassment. I can't believe that a few weeks ago I was considering doing English Literature at college, I reckon it would just about kill me. So that's a definite no-no! School is really getting me down at the moment, especially the pressure of everything being piled on me at the end of the year. I've always been sceptical about people taking gap-years before going to university, but I have to admit the idea is looking increasingly appealing. There's so many places I want to go, like Boston (and whilst I'm in the USA, I'd like to see Eric's band play) and Jerusalem and I would also like to go back to Amsterdam.
Although this is three years away, it is providing me with a lot of comfort, not to mention nice day-dreams during English Lit!
On JUne 28th, I am going to collect a performing arts award for me school, which involves spending an hour with my drama teacher in his car whilst we drive up north. Its a scary prospect, I didn't know him at the beginning of the year, but over the past few months have found myself falling increasingly in love with him (and let me tell you, it's very scary to feel attracted to a distant, bald, middle-aged man!!!!!!!!!!). Obviousley, I know its just 'teenage-hormones' and no WAY am I planning on humiliating myself or my ego by trying anything I would regret at a later date. Still, the day itself should be good, and definitely exciting.
I've put a photo of me in my profile (the guy in the picture is my new friend-from-Surrey called David) but I'm considering taking it down. I like the internet because you can judge on who someone really is, not wat they look like.I'll leave it up for a few days, and then decide what to do. It may seem like a big fuss over a photo, but it's significance does me a lot to me.
Anyway, I'm going for a walk and then I'm going to do another History essay, before retreating to my room to listen to 'Girl Anachronism' whilst I wallow in the fact that I am an academic FAILURE!
Good times!
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Oh, you are NOT a failure. You've got a lot of shit going on right now. It happens to us all. In the long run, you'll be better for it, I swear. And that's not some older-person-saying-cliche-bullshit-to-younger-person-to-make-her-do-her-schoolwork
schtik, either. I know that one from personal experiance. Over here, High School was a breeze. I litteraly slept through the entire experiacne and came out with a near perfect record. Problem was, I got to college and had NO IDEA what the fuck I was doing. Completly lost. No idea how to hadle the coursework and the stress that comes with it. So, hopefully, a lot of work in high school will mean college won't be so bad. Hopefully...
And SHAME on you for never having seen Buffy! There's a bunch of English people in it! You can actually find most of it on the internet for free (the legality of which is a bit iffy) at www.tv-links.co.uk. Or, maybe over there it's just tv-links.com. Not sure how URLs work internationaly...
love.
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