Why has it been so long since I last updated my blog? Is it because, every time I tell myself that I will, I always end up with even less motivation than before. Or do I just have no motivation at all?
It's the same with my coursework. Usually I'm keen to do it, and enjoy it. But this holiday it's just been a chore. I've only got one thing on my mind... The school production of 'His Dark Materials'.
I've just realised that it's been so long since I updated that no-one will have any idea what I am talking about...
My drama teacher has decided to put on a production of Philip Pullman's 'His Dark Materials'. It will be performed in January/February and the auditions were held a couple of weeks before the end of term. I did a general audition for an adult part (having read the books, I find the adult characters much more interesting), and then got a call-back. I had to do another audition as Mrs Coulter, with my drama teacher giving me advice as I went along.
Before the auditions, I didn't have any particular part in mind that I wanted. But after the second audition I realised that I was desperate for the part of Mrs Coulter. I mean REALLY desperate.
I assumed that I would find out whether or not I had the part by the time the summer holidays rolled around, given the number of lines that some of the actors will need to learn. But all I got was a message from my drama teacher telling me that we would find out some time in September.
It's been so frustating not having any idea of where I stand in this. Inevitably, it as led to me sinking back into my old worrying about my weight. I've been eating the same kinds of foods I was about a year ago (which basically consists of simply cereal and humous), whereas a couple of months ago I had begun to eat things like cheese and chocolate again. Now I can't even stand seeing people eating them. I've been standing infront of the mirror analysing how much my stomach sticks out. Even though I have been eating less, I still feel fatter than before.
It doesn't help that Nicole Kidman is going to be playing Mrs Coulter in the film. How do I know that my drama teacher isn't sitting at home thinking that he was stupid to even call me back for an audition because I'm too fat. Maybe he'll change his mind, if it was ever even made up in the first place.
What have I done this holiday? Went on a week-long creative residential, which was amazing but now I keep thinking that it can't have been real it was so much fun. And then I spent a week in Wales with my family, which was not inspiring in anyway.
I've started a new novel, it seems to be going OK.
But I can only think about His Dark Materials, and getting back to school.
Sunday, 19 August 2007
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